WELL... it turns out that my "healthy homemade dinner" did not happen; in fact, just the opposite happened. I had a burrito and chips and queso from Taco Cabana... followed by a little bit of an Oreo frosty. Ouch. I was almost too embarrassed to mention what I ate because it's so horribly unhealthy, but I made myself, because I knew I would remember the embarrassment of having the possibility of someone reading about my complete failure. One of my philosophies in life is this--If you do something that you don't want to tell everyone, then you probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place. And this is my personal downfall--once I get to the point where I'm really hungry, all of my food inhibitions go out the window. I walked into Taco Cabana set on getting a chicken fajita cabana bowl with no shell, black beans, salad blend, pico, and guacamole, but my hunger got the best of me and the unhealthy chicken burrito and queso sounded so much better... until I finished eating and regret set in.
To stop the nonsense, I plan on carrying a snack, such as a Larabar, around with me for when times get tough and I start feeling hungry. This way I won't lose my sensibility when presented with an unhealthy food option. Larabars are not my favorite thing in the world; it is a food bar made of mainly dates, usually some type of nut, and maybe a little fruit, depending on the flavor it is. I don't like dates, prunes, raisins, craisins, or any other type of dried fruit for that matter, but they're all natural and so nutrient and fiber packed I just need to get over it and choke them down between meals with a bottle of water. I bought a HUGE pack of them also, so I'm pretty much obligated to eat them. Maybe (hopefully) I'll get used to them.
I chose to walk across campus in the beautiful weather, rather than riding the tram, and while walking, I had a few minutes to think about what I want my goal weight to be. I'm pretty happy with my body actually, considering the amount (lack) of effort I've been putting into it as of late, and the unhealthy food that I've been eating. All I really dislike is my middle region (pooch and love handles). I know I will never be model thin, and I'm fine with that. I just want to be healthy. The skinniest I've ever been as an adult was 140, and that was because I was prescribed adderall. I took adderall for about 6 months before deciding that not being able to focus in class was a better alternative to all of the side effects that amphetamines bring: Light sensitivity, headaches, being angry for hours for no legit reason, complete loss of appetite, waking up in the middle of the night WIRED, and the plunge in functionality that occurred if I didn't take the medicine for a day...basically I was a crack head, though I did like my 4.0 gpa and bangin' body... Anyway...140 is my goal weight, and I believe it is perfect for my body type. I have an hourglass figure, so I please the "breast men" and the "ass men" at the same time! Joking...but I am pretty lucky. This does mean, however, I will never fit into the sacred size 2 jeans and small sized shirts!
Well I'm gonna go work out now...I will be doubling my workout time to make up for yesterday!
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